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Safe sex includes everything sexual, without the exchange of bodily fluids. In short (or long, as the case may be) it means using a condom. Safe sex includes kissing, cuddling, licking, massages, masturbation, ice cubes, whips, leather, smooching, stripping, lingerie, videos, vibrators (but not to share), body paint, soft bites, slaps, tickles, talking dirty, strokes, oil, chocolate, champagne, rubbing, kneading, open fires, handcuffs, mangoes, giggles, nibbling ears, fantasies, dress ups, etc, etc.
The weird thing about sexually transmitted diseases is that you just don't know who's got them and who hasn't. You can never be absolutely sure of your partner's sexual past. Even if they have just had a check-up at an STD clinic, they may have contracted the HIV virus in the past three months, which does not show up on a test. Age, gender, sexual orientation and strict rules about monogamy are not barriers to disease. The only way to be sure about your health is to always have safe sex whenever you have any sex with anyone at all.
The basis of safe sex is to achieve intimacy and sexual satisfaction, without the exchange of bodily fluids. This means that the lovely wet stuff that shows that you're having a good time doesn't get shared around. You can get it all over your hands, but only if there are no cuts or grazes on them. If there are, put latex gloves on (available from most supermarkets, near the cleaning products, in a box of 50 for only a few dollars). It is best not to swallow it… use a condom, or a piece of latex called a dental dam, for oral sex. These can taste pretty foul, so don't hesitate to rub chocolate syrup all over the outside to improve the flavour.
Ultimately, in heterosexual and male homosexual liaisons, safe sex usually means that males wear condoms. Condoms are fabulous. They come in an ever-broadening range of colours, styles, shapes and flavours. They are cheap and they are readily available from service stations, chemists, supermarkets, and even free from the AIDS Council! They can protect people from all sorts of unwanted nasties, including HIV, chlamydia, syphilis and unwanted pregnancies. Unfortunately, they do not protect from crabs, or from warts or herpes when they are on skin other than that which is covered by a condom.
Condoms are easy to use. Always check the use by date on the back before you open the packet, and don't use them if they are out of date. The rubber can also erode when exposed to heat or light, so leave them in their box in a drawer beside the bed - not in a bowl on the coffee table in front of the open fire. Condoms must go on to the erect penis before it goes near the vagina. Pre cum can contain HIV, as well as sperm. So…. Squeeze the tip of the condom, put it on the top of the hard dick, and roll it down with your other hand (or mouth, if you want to show off). Then, all you have to do is have fun. You may want to get some water based lube to make it even slipperier and feel even better. You can buy different flavours at sex shops, or the standard at the chemist. But remember, you must hold the condom at the base after ejaculating and immediately withdraw so that semen doesn't drip out at all. Practice makes perfect, so have lots of fabulous sex until you are feeling confident with your technique. If you don't have a human subject to practice on, you can use a banana, and if you are really unsure about the whole thing, contact the STD clinic or the AIDS Council for advice.
Oh, and always buy a few extra condoms in case one breaks, or in case you want to do it again.
Playing safe is fun. It makes you feel like a responsible citizen. By having safe sex you are spreading love instead of diseases. Playing safe shows you respect your own health as well as that of your partner.
At Deakin we have fantastic, bulk-billing, doctors and nurses that can help you with any concerns about your sexual health. Contact them via the Division of Student Life at your campus.
